Wedding Ceremony Liturgies, Vows, and Blessings

1. Processional 2. Gathering words and statement of purpose 3. Opening prayer 4. Declaration of intent ("I will") 5. Affirmation by the families and the congregation 6. Scripture readings 7. Homily or charge to the couple 8. Vows 9. Exchange of rings 10. Optional symbol: unity candle, cord, communion 11. Prayer for the couple, often into the Lord's Prayer 12. Pronouncement 13. Blessing and presentation of the couple 14. Recessional

Original

Friends, we are here for a specific reason, and it is not the flowers. [Name] and [Name] are about to make promises to each other that neither of them can keep alone. That is not a criticism; it is the design. Marriage was God's idea before it was ever a ceremony, and he gave it to us as a place where two people are known all the way down and loved anyway. You are not spectators. You are witnesses. In a few minutes these two are going to say words out loud that you will be responsible for reminding them of. Let us begin.

Original

God of covenant, you have kept every promise you ever made, which is more than either of these two will manage. Be present in this room. Steady their hands and their voices. And let what is said here today hold long after everyone here has gone home. Amen.

Original

Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live? Answer: I will.

The Book of Common Prayer, 1662 (public domain)

Officiant: [Name], do you take [Name] to be your [wife/husband]? Will you love [her/him], tell [her/him] the truth, stay when it is hard, and keep no one else in [her/his] place, for as long as you both live? Answer: I will. [Repeat for the other partner.]

Original

Officiant: Who supports [Name] and [Name] in this marriage? Families: We do. Officiant: And will all of you gathered here hold these two to the promises they are about to make, and help them keep them? All: We will.

Original

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (KJV)

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12 (KJV)

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (KJV)

Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried.

Ruth 1:16-17 (KJV)

I [Name] take thee [Name] to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

The Book of Common Prayer, 1662 (public domain)

I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my [wife/husband]. I will love you when it is easy and when it is work. I will tell you the truth, including the parts you will not want to hear. I will stay when I would rather leave. I will forgive you, and I will need you to forgive me. All that I have and all that I am is yours, from today until the day one of us buries the other. This is my promise, and I mean it.

Original

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee honour, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer, 1662 (public domain), with the traditional variant "honour"

Officiant: These rings are round because the promise has no end, and they are worn on the hand because a promise you cannot see is easy to forget. [Name]: I give you this ring as a sign of everything I have just promised you. Wear it, and remember that I meant it.

Original

Lord, keep them. Keep them through the first year, which is harder than anyone tells them. Keep them through the years in the middle, when nothing is wrong and nothing is tended. Keep them through whatever comes that they cannot see from here. Give them work worth doing, friends who tell them the truth, and a home where other people are fed. And when they fail each other, as they will, teach them to say the words that begin again. Amen.

Original

Forasmuch as [Name] and [Name] have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a Ring, and by joining of hands; I pronounce that they be Man and Wife together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.

The Book of Common Prayer, 1662 (public domain); final line from Mark 10:9 (KJV)

God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you, and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer, 1662 (public domain)

Go now as one household. May the God who invented this go with you into your kitchen and your calendar. May Christ, who called himself a bridegroom, keep you tender. And may the Spirit give you patience on the days you do not like each other much. Friends, it is my joy to present to you [Name] and [Name].

Original

What is the order of a wedding ceremony?

Processional, gathering words, opening prayer, declaration of intent, scripture readings, a short homily, vows, exchange of rings, prayer for the couple, pronouncement, blessing, presentation, recessional. Optional elements such as a unity candle or communion sit between the rings and the prayer. The whole thing runs twenty to thirty minutes.

What does the officiant say?

Roughly five set pieces: why everyone is gathered, the question of intent ("Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife"), the prompt lines for the vows and rings, the pronouncement ("I pronounce that they be man and wife together"), and the closing blessing. Everything between those is the officiant's own words: a homily, a prayer, and the readings.

How long is a wedding ceremony?

Twenty to thirty minutes for a full Christian service with two readings and a short homily. Ten to fifteen minutes without a homily. A Catholic wedding celebrated inside Mass typically runs an hour. If your draft is running past thirty-five minutes, the homily is too long.

Can anyone officiate a wedding?

No, and the rules are set by the state and sometimes the county, not by the church. Most states authorize ordained or licensed clergy, judges, and certain civil officers; some require the officiant to register in advance with the county. Online ordination is accepted in many places and explicitly not in others. Whoever officiates should confirm with the county clerk that issues the license, before the invitations go out.

What are the traditional wedding vows?

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." That wording comes from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, which is public domain, and it is the ancestor of nearly every set of English wedding vows in use today.

Can a couple write their own vows?

Yes, and it usually works best as an addition rather than a replacement. Keep the traditional promises so the legal and covenantal content is unambiguous, then let each partner add sixty to ninety seconds of their own. Ask to read them in advance, and set a word limit before anyone starts writing.

What scripture is read at a wedding?

1 Corinthians 13 is the most common by a wide margin. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Ruth 1:16-17, Song of Solomon 8:6-7, Colossians 3:12-14, and Genesis 2:18-24 are the other standards. Two readings is plenty; three starts to feel like an anthology.